There is no ribbon long enough to gift wrap what we gave our kids. In fact, there is no end to the gift they got. Because of it, our children were introduced to mystery and marvel, laughter and achievement, new skills and new horizons.
Besides providing our Brandon and Chelsea with a loving home and solid education,my wife, Laurie, and I agreed early on that the best treasure we could give our children would be ‘the world.’ Not only did it become an exceptional bonding experience for the entire family, ultimately that gift became the centerpiece of the kid’s character, spirit, generosity and compassion.
Parthenon - Athens
From the pyramids of Egypt to the impoverished and remote shanty towns in Mexico, we reached out in simple but meaningful ways. Ultimately, the rewards for all of us have been priceless. The gift of travel can do the same for anyone and does not require great wealth, exceptional luck or even a touch of magic. It simply requires a plan and the determination to stick to it.
There were five basic elements to our plan. Happily, I am able to include here insights from Brandon and Chelsea who were life-long beneficiaries of the gift and are now young professionals who thoughtfully reflect on what it all meant to them and can mean to others.
Red Square - Moscow
1. ESTABLISH A GOAL:
As parents, our ‘worldly’ motivation was not to simply drag the kids around the globe in helter-skelter fashion, but rather to allow them to enhance their own lives by absorbing many cultures first-hand, interacting with all kinds of people, walking foreign landscapes and embracing great diversity.
Now a 27 year old tennis pro living in Australia, Brandon describes his family adventures this way; “By the time my sister and I graduated from high school, we had been to 28 countries. As a result, we grew up citizens of the world. All people are my type of people.”
Copenhagen - Denmark
My wife, as a well-traveled Army brat, and I as a somewhat nomadic news reporter/photographer, love ‘The American Way’ of life. But it is not the only way to live and often it is not the best way. So as our growing kids were discovering the world, they gathered tools of experience that would help them help themselves and help them help others.
Our plan for global exploration actually began when the kids were still toddlers, well before our first major trip as a family. To help prepare them for travel, we would use even simple outings to the grocery store as training grounds. Brandon will recall, “As kids we were often sent off on our own to go track down a gallon of milk or a stick of butter. Though I always had a feeling my parents supervised us from afar, it was fun; the kids got to do what Mom and Dad did.”
Pyramids - Egypt
Along with assigning them basic responsibilities in a controlled environment, if they wandered off on their own we would make it clear to them that ‘this isn’t a good way to travel. We have to stick together.’ Or if they got a little feisty; ‘we don’t do that when we travel because (fill in the blank).’ Few outings went perfectly. But every outing was a perfect opportunity to teach and learn. The grass-roots lessons paid off quickly. By the time Brandon was 7 and Chelsea was just 5, they were well prepared to venture out to the world around them as seasoned travelers.
2. PLAN AND EXECUTE:
Though we didn’t traipse around wearing wrinkled bandanas, torn jeans and battered back packs, our trips were always on the economy plan. There was never much money to go around. And travel always required some kind of sacrifice. We didn’t typically sport the latest fashions nor have the coolest electronic gizmos. We gratefully accepted coach seats on airplanes. Inside cabins on cruise ships. Brown-bagging it on car-trips. We’d seek out street corner food carts instead of spendy restaurants. We rarely loaded up on souvenirs or ‘nice-to-haves.’ Yet not once did we feel deprived of what was important to us.
Canadian Parliament - Victoria B.C.
Recalling her globe-trotting experiences, daughter Chelsea – now working in a Tucson law office – advises parents to ‘Include your children in the grand scheme of your goals. Tell your kids you intend to give them the world. Share stories of your own travels. Imagine stories you will make together. Your honest excitement will be beyond contagious.’
Allow kids to buy into the vacation by letting them bear some responsibility during preparation and make decisions when appropriate. For example, with some guidance, let them plan their own wardrobe. Teach them packing tricks like rolling up socks and tucking them inside shoes to save space. Instruct them on carefully folding shirts and slipping them into zip lock bags which let you squeeze out the air to take up less room and minimize wrinkles. Let the kids occasionally decide where the family will eat or which venue to visit.
3. EDUCATION FOR THE FUN OF IT:
Nearly every year, we found ways to reach out, experience and learn about worldly wonders. Each of us loved every minute, even study time. We all had done advance research. We had made arrangements with the kid’s teachers. Then we packed notebooks and pens to gather more facts about the places we would visit. Without relinquishing time for unstructured fun and relaxation, the children would find out what made the people and places unique, their economies, their way of life, their traditions. Chelsea recalls despite her young age at the time, “By the time we were marching up the path to the great Acropolis, I was well-informed enough to tell our tour guide all about the goddess, Nike, the conflict between the Turks and the Greeks and all sorts of fascinating details in history. I knew the magnitude of what stood before me.’
Together, our family walked the hallowed pathways of Jerusalem, studied great works of art in St. Petersburg and Moscow, snacked on chunks of fresh bakery bread as we strolled along the canals of Venice, examined the ruins of Ephesus, marveled at whale pods in Alaska and the pyramids of Egypt, basked in the grandeur of Big Ben, rumbled through the jungles of Costa Rica and Panama, crept through the darkened alleys of Athens, sloshed up the famous Dunn’s River Falls in Jamaica, stood before the lofty gates of Buckingham Palace, tickled the sands of the Caribbean and hiked the winding paths on the rugged cliffs of the Na Pali Coast. We experienced luxury and poverty, laughter and sadness, the magnificent and the modest. And so much more.
Over time, we had great stories to talk about. In fact, we’d play a family game to decide which place we liked the best. We could never really decide, because we made sure each place became a family treasure. And what the kids saw first-hand often was what they would study in their classrooms. “In middle and high school, Chelsea said, “the history books were exciting!”
Admittedly your adventures – like ours – will have flaws. “Don’t let imperfections interfere with your excitement,” Chelsea advises, “Let them become part of it.”
This recalls a fateful day long ago while waiting for a plane inside the Amsterdam Airport terminal where the acrid cigarette smoke was so thick, both kids suddenly barfed all over the floor.
On a pyramid tour in Cairo, panic set in when our son was surreptitiously snatched from our side by an Egyptian photographer who plunked the boy on a camel in hopes of selling us a photo of the event. Mom launched a diatribe about child stealing that the photographer undoubtedly still remembers.
Then there was the cruise when we discovered that a male passenger had ill-intentions toward a young boy who our son had befriended. It became a teaching-moment about strangers for all the kids in our respective families. Once alerted, the ship’s security staff swiftly imposed strict procedures that assured safe passage for the rest of the journey.
Always being alert is essential. Bad things happen can happen anywhere, even at home. “Be ready for unpleasantries,’ Chelsea advises, ‘buck up and move on.”
4. HEAD-OFF POST-VACATION BLUES.
Unless you prepare for your post-vacation as thoughtfully as you prepared for the trip itself, you may be in for a huge case of the blahs when you get home. Psychologists call it Post Vacation Syndrome, though they offer little or no advice on how to cope with it. But take heart travelers, there is hope. I speak from experience.
Getting home from a trip typically means piles of dirty laundry, a gazillion unread e-mails, back to school/work, cooler temperature, short tempers, shorter days, and the deflating end of your adventure. So make sure your plan includes antidotes to post-vacation blues. It’s easy and effective. It’s a two-parter.
First, plan something special in advance that you can look forward to soon after your return home. Make sure you pay for it beforehand so it won’t be a financial burden. Maybe it will be a family trip to the zoo, a weekend at the beach or simply a night out at a favorite family restaurant. You may wish to secretly wrap an inexpensive present for each of the kids to open during a special family meal a few days after your return. Whatever it is, get the family excited about it before you return home.
But the real elixir for Post Vacation Syndrome is to start laying plans for your next trip well before your suitcases are unpacked. While you are still on your trip to Mexico, get the family pumped up about next year’s trip to Canada. Or at least narrow down the choice destinations and get the family involved in preparations right away. Make it real not just wishful thinking. If you know your approximate date of departure, you can begin something like a count-down to Christmas.
Before the end of virtually every trip, we had a realistic plan in place for the next adventure. And we’d tuck away any leftover dollars from one trip as seed money for the next trip. It’s amazing how even a tiny vacation fund can get the ball rolling.
5 REVIEW, REVISE and REPACK
No amount of money could possibly make up for the worldly wonders that we invited into our lives. With a bit of patience and planning – along with some scrimping and saving – we brought untold intellectual wealth to our family.
We became a global family. Brandon – who is now completing a fictional novel based on his travels – says “Mom and Dad taught us to see people equally, without judgment. Traveling prepared us to adapt to any environment.” Of her adventures, Chelsea counsels “Go fulfill your dreams. Make stories. Live your anticipations.”
Through the eyes of a mom guiding her globe-trotting kids, my wife Laurie says “I loved watching their excitement. And I loved watching the poise develop within them as they encountered different situations. They knew how to handle themselves among different people and I really appreciate the way they were so much more accepting of others in different situations.”
As a couple, our enthusiasm for travel has not diminished a bit. Laurie and I completed a mission trip to Tanzania a couple of years ago, experiencing extraordinary poverty. Yet we also discovered the riches of love among those who have so little. One day we hope to return.
We keep a glass jar in the kitchen cupboard where we stuff any extra dollars we can find and earmark them for the next destination. In fact, the jar was emptied
recently for what became a marvelous three-week adventure crisscrossing China. Work obligations prevented the kids from joining us. But I bet they’ll make it there one day…. very possibly as a gift to their own children.
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